Selfish or Selflessness?

“We can work with the rest of the world on the basis of the goodness we discover in ourselves.”

Chögyam Trungpa

Today, I want to talk briefly about individualism or self-love and how we approach loving other human beings. It appears to me when I observe my own life and the life of others, especially that of my husband and brother who died young and who were both kind and loving men— that there is some confusion and pain associated with the practice of self-love and loving others deeply and honestly.

First, I want to clarify that selflessness does not mean self-sacrifice. This is important because we often perceive the world without paying attention to language but language is a tool we can use prior to meditation in order to investigate and synchronize our thoughts towards awareness and right action.

Selflessness is a natural outpouring of love and concern for other human beings. It is a profound concern for others that expresses itself through honesty, compassion and generosity.

If we are not paying attention to our Self, then we are not loving in so far we recognize that love is always sustained attention and care in mutuality.

On the surface, self-sacrifice is a very noble deed, however illusionary and life threatening.

All loving behavior emanates from a healthy, sane and balanced mind-body. Love is simply an outpouring of our own light energy which feels safe, selfless, free and healing.

When we give ourselves over to others without paying attention to the quality of our light, we encounter confusion, pain and dis-ease.

Today, I invite you to think about your practice of self-love and loving, the quality of your light energy and synchronicity. Consider any limiting beliefs about loving yourself and loving others that you may have inherited from your upbringing or society.

I also invite you to look at the Pathway to Transcendence diagram from my book Mindful Practice so you can pay attention to key elements of your experience as you continue your investigation into healthy living.


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